We Did the Thing. It Wasn't Working.

Spreading Seed on Dry Ground: Homeschool Reconstruction in Progress

For years, I thought "classical education" just meant "not public school." Same curriculum as everyone else? Check. Must be doing it. I wasn't.

To be fair, I've done things my public school upbringing never touched. My kids can recite more history and scripture than I knew existed at their age. But it was not a well-oiled machine, and that bothered me.

For context, you should know that we are the family that always goes home with a story. Everyone tells me I've "got some characters"—and I do. They wake up running and go to bed sword fighting. I've been asking God to use their power for good since they were about 18 months old.

This carried over into our lessons. I heard someone say once, "How you do one thing is how you do everything." When you hear something so simple but so true, it begins to reveal itself in ways you least expect.

The contents of our curriculum, the amount of Bible we studied, the rounds of instruction and discipline we dove into around the clock—it was like spreading seed on dry ground. Our school days would end with everyone relieved that it was over, and we could say we did the thing.

Yet my community of classical education moms did not reveal this as a similar experience. It wasn't so much why is their grass greener, but how are they not waking up the next day already defeated by the potential letdown of another unsuccessful venture?

Enter The Well-Trained Mind.

Funnily enough, I did not pick up this book because I saw it as a cure. This is where I expose myself… (deep breath)

I have a friend who had to read it so she could write an essay for her kids' application to an up-and-coming private Christian school. Internally, I thought, I could do that. I also think it was a little bit of FOMO. We had just left Classical Conversations, and I was about to embark on a solo homeschool journey while welcoming our fourth baby boy. I didn't want to commit to teaching co-op classes or managing breastfeeding and nursery volunteering while trying to repair physically in postpartum.

But the competitive and covetous person in me saw my good friend entering into a good opportunity for her kids, and I wanted some part in that acceptance.

God has a funny way of using your sin to reveal a truth you've been tripping over all along.

Suddenly everything I was encountering—Douglas Wilson's Why Children Matter, 1 Corinthians 3, even podcasts like Huberman Labs—started smacking me over the head with the same simple methods and mindsets The Well-Trained Mind lays out so clearly.

What became clear just twenty pages in was that classical education cares about the individual soul. It's not one-size-fits-all. It's not "sit in a grassy field singing Kumbaya while the sourdough rises and the sheep graze nearby."

It's a proven method that meets a child where they are—developmentally, not just academically. The elementary years are the foundation: truth, love, curiosity. The kind of stuff that feeds their souls for life.

Now, this article is not to say The Well-Trained Mind will fix all of your problems. But it was the gateway that let my pride finally see what many homeschoolers have known all along. As Jessie Wise simply states, "Home education teaches children to learn and eventually teach themselves… As adults they continue to educate themselves to widen their intellectual horizons."

The book gave me a framework I didn't know I was missing: the Trivium's three stages—grammar, logic, rhetoric—each building on the last across twelve years of learning. For the first time, I had a map. Not a rigid schedule, but a way of seeing where my kids actually are and what they actually need at each stage.

From here, I have to consider where each of my boys is developmentally (ages 4, 7, and 9), along with their strengths, weaknesses, and interests. I'll be honest—I'm the opposite of a people pleaser, so leaning into what would bless each individual heart takes real effort for me. But that's part of the reconstruction.

The curriculum is not the problem. The kids are not the problem. My map and method of travel are the problem. Now that I think of it… the attitude of the driver is the real problem. I had good intentions—I really did. But good intentions don't always translate.

Have you ever seen those poor kids that get tossed down a water slide like a cube as opposed to a penguin gliding in its natural environment? Good intentions, terribly executed. I would say that sums up our first five years as a homeschool family.

I know this can work. But as new babies were born, houses were built, marriage was managed, illness struck every couple of months or even weeks, attitudes flared, and hearts grew weary—I became hopeless and frustrated. Waking up defeated is no way to live. And let me tell you, it will not magically transition into a Mary Poppins adventure after that first sip of coffee.

By God's grace and mercy, I realized I needed to keep taking steps backward until I had the right vantage point to see what actually needed to change. The Well-Trained Mind gave me a framework I could finally stand on. Boys are chaotic and noisy, so I tell myself, "Embrace the Suck." But there are also things I don't need to embrace—things I need to train, replace, or even let go of.

And that's where the real work begins. Not just adjusting the curriculum, but adjusting my own heart.

Remember that God chose YOU for His children. Don't lose faith. Keep your heart guarded. The devil is prowling around like a lion, waiting for you to give up.

Don't give him the satisfaction. If Texas can commit to a lifelong highway construction project, then dangit, so can I.

Resources Mentioned in This Post

The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home by Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise
welltrainedmind.com

Why Children Matter by Douglas Wilson
canonpress.com

Huberman Lab podcast by Dr. Andrew Huberman
hubermanlab.com

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 3